This statement is incredibly true. Before I started college, I never understood the “Hater” concept. I just thought some people were rude. In the last four years, especially the last two, I have come to understand this concept. At first, it really frustrated me because my self-esteem had taken a real hit over the years and I was just starting to feel good about myself again. Going back to college had given me the feeling of success again. It gave me confidence in myself. I could walk with my head high again. Then all of a sudden, there were conflicts in my life with people I never expected. It devastated me and I would say to myself all the time “Where did that come from?” People who I thought were in my corner started to drift away, call me names, put me down. The only thing that changed in me was my CONFIDENCE & SELF-WORTH. Why were people doing this?
That my friend is called a “HATER.” Haters are people who do not want to see you get ahead, better yourself or actually become happy. See, they are great when you feel like crap, your self-esteem is a bust and so on because it empowers their egos, their self-esteem, their self-worth. They feel good on your back. Once you begin to understand who you are and what you have to offer, you become a threat to those individuals.
I learned that the better you do, the more haters, you will have. The more successful you become, you may have to make a decision to change your friends. You need to surround yourself with people who have the same goals as you do and are not afraid of your success. When people act like HATERS, it is because you are creating an uncomfortable feeling in them. You are causing them to look at themselves, and they do not like what they are seeing. That is NOT YOUR FAULT!
Think about this for a minute. Look at successful people such as Doctors, Lawyers, CEO’s and so on. Do they surround themselves with other successful people or do they surround themselves with losers? I know for myself I want to be around people who are succesful, have what I am trying to get. I can learn from them. I can learn what it takes to become succesful. I can also learn what pitfalls to avoid. Tell me one professional athlete that practices everyday with someone who is not? Why would a professional tennis player practice with a beginner? How are they going to improve that way? You only get better by playing or working with people who are smarter and more succesful than you are. They can teach you what you need to learn. The person who is calling you names and putting you down for going back to school is JEALOUS! They want you to stay right where you are at. They do not have any desire to see you succeed.
For myself, that meant a great deal of changes and pain. I had to walk away from some family members and friends because being around them was toxic. The stress it would cause was unbearable. However, making the changes and surrounding myself with positive, healthy people has made significant changes in my life. People who rejoice in my success. People who want to see me prosper and grow. These people are now a major part of my life. Yes, it hurt like you know what to walk away from certain people, but I knew if I did not, I would never achieve my goals. YOU DO NOT NEED PEOPLE WHO ARE INTENTIONALLY SABATAGING YOUR FUTURE.
I can hear you now. “I can never walk away from my friends or family.” “That is just plain WRONG!” “I don’t ever want to become that arrogant.” Yep, I can hear those words. Why? Because I said them too! When I started my 3rd year is when major changes happened. Some people realized I was serious about school and making my dreams come true and they began to berate me, talk about me and tell me that I was being foolish to think at my age that I could start a new career and be successful! WHAT! I thought they were my friends and family! Wow, what an eye-opener. You will, I promise, experience this. To what degree, I cannot say. You just need to remain focused on the prize – GRADUATION! NEW JOB! PROMOTION!
Keep doing what you are doing, those who are really friends and family; they will pat you on the back instead of trying to stab you in the back. They will scream for you at graduation. They will praise your successes. They will get excited about your grades. They will pump you up when you are struggling. The will cheer you on! Just reading that makes me feel good and motivates me. How about you?
REMEMBER: IF YOU HAVE HATERS ~ YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT!
Feel sorry for your haters and rejoice with those who embrace your drive to become a better person!
Enjoy this beautiful day God gave you!